Local
black man Robert Johnson has drawn much attention in the South Sacramento
neighborhood after he was seen handcuffing and arresting himself in an attempt
to avoid getting shot to death by Sacramento PD officers. "I just kept seeing all of these
black guys getting shot by the police on the news. When the two officers walked
by I just threw myself on the ground and began arresting myself" Johnson
stated.
Witnesses
report that that Johnson was indeed seen punching his own face and shouting
racial slurs at himself as soon as the two white officers walked by. "I'm
a large, intimidating black man," Johnson said, "I had to convince
the cops that I was so worn out that there was no need to shoot me."
According
to Sacramento Police Chief Ray Palmer, these bizarre events are happening
more frequently throughout the city. There were reports of at least five
separate incidents where officers were startled to find 2-3 black men sitting
in the back of their squad cars, already handcuffed and beaten to a pulp.
Police Chief Palmer has mixed feelings about this new phenomenon.
"On
one hand, I appreciate the fact that these black men are taking the
responsibility to arrest and rough themselves up. And it does save us a heck
of a lot of money on bullets," the chief said. "On the other hand,
it’s probably not completely necessary."
Local
black man Robert Johnson, however, thinks that these actions are completely
necessary for safety reasons. "Us blacks have to be safe out here,"
Johnson continued, "I even offered to drop my pants and spread my cheeks
so that the officers could see that I wasn't carrying anything on me. They said
it wasn't necessary, but I did it anyway just to be safe."
Meanwhile,
the hashtag #arrestyoself is trending on Twitter, with thousands of followers
supporting Robert Johnson's bold actions.
#satire #butactually
0 comments:
Post a Comment