7 Reasons to Date a Republican

They say to "love your enemies." But I say, make love to them.


I was recently talking to one of my friends in San Francisco about why now days it seems that Republicans and Democrats can't even sit in the same room with one another without having a moral breakdown.

Everybody is so upset at Congress for being ultra-partisan and refusing to work together. True, Congress is trippin. But so are we. I would argue that Congress is a microcosm of America. If you are liberal (like myself and most of my friends), you probably haven't sat down with a Republican recently and really got to the root of why they beleive in certain things. We generally shout, "That's racist!" and run away, presumably to lock ourselves in our rooms to throw darts at posters of Dick Cheney.

Conversely, if you are Republican, when is the last time you sat down with a liberal and asked them why they beleive what they do?

Which goes back to my original point: Date a Republican. Folks, I'm only 20% kidding and 80% serious about this. Keep readin'.

Here are 7 reasons why you should date a Republican:

1. You're guaranteed to have more interesting conversations

You probably spend all your time dating like-minded people, and pretending to be interested in their stupid boring stories. Imagine if you got to know someone with a drastically different background than yours.You could spend hours in deep, interesting conversation, learning about someone's life experiences from a completely new perspective.

TIP: Make yourself vulnerable. Listen to their stories without interrupting, without arguing, even if the comments slightly offend you. Then tell your story to them. Then make out, because you are dating.

2. Your network grows

It tends to be true that liberals know liberals, who know other liberals, whose cats are also liberal. How exciting.How many times have you been in a group where all you do is agree with each other the entire night.

"I believe in [insert hippie cause]!"
"Me too!"
"Yea me too."
"What did you say I didn't hear? But I probably agree too!"


We all agree


Okay, It's cool to agree with each other, but agreeing doesn't challenge anyone. If you really want to convince people about your cause, then you're going to have to talk to people who don't believe in it. Knowing people in different parties means you meet a whole new circle of people. New friends, new families, new job opportunities. Oh, what's that you say? You don't want to meet those people? Your just like Congress.

3. You get better at arguing (a.k.a. articulating your opinion)
Perhaps the most important thing you will get from dating a Republican is that you have a rare chance to find out why they believe what they do. The whole point of this union is not to convince anyone how right you are. It's to try to authentically understand how people have come to the conclusions that they have. Understanding where people are coming from makes it incredibly easier for you to appeal to other Republicans. You will be able to cite facts and stories that will help them see your point of view.

So maybe you two (or three if you're kinky) won't agree on everything, but you can still love each other and potentially raise the next generation of politicians who actually tolerate different viewpoints without hating people.

4. Your mind expands, and you will find out new things about yourself

Dating a Republican may mean that you find that you're not as liberal as you thought you were. Back when he was an environmentalist, one thing that Hippie Greg did not realize was how nuts some environmentalists can be. I learned that it is often the case that some "enviros" (do I sound like a conservative now?) care more about the trees and deer(s) than they do humans.

Some would rather shut down factories and businesses even if it means the loss of thousands of decent-paying jobs for poor communities of color. Meanwhile they go back to their secure jobs and their houses by the ocean. These are the types of things I learned from hanging out with moderate Democrats--not even Republicans!

5. Republicans are sexy

I've never seen one in real life but I hear stories.

Mia Love, Republican Congresswoman

I heard he's Republican Ladies

For your more Traditional Republican Taste

                                                               

6. You'll realize that Republicans are human

Republicans are living, breathing creatures like you and me. While you may disagree with some of their views, do not avoid them. I think that conservatives and progressives have much to learn from each other. Hopefully they will see that you are human too. It sounds obvious, but I think that this is what the good ol' USA needs. What better way to understand someone than to have a relationship with them. And when in doubt...

7. You can always break up

Remember, if it's not working our with your Republican mate, you can always cut 'em off like George Bush cut taxes for the rich.

Conclusion

All this dating stuff is easier said than done, I know. But someone's gotta do it. I challenge you to date a Republican. If that sounds scary, start by just talking to one. 

Meanwhile I'll be standing outside of Mia Love's office so I can get an internship. And a date.


Would you date a Republican? Let me know in the comments below.

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Local Black Man Arrests Himself to Avoid Getting Shot by Police

Local black man Robert Johnson has drawn much attention in the South Sacramento neighborhood after he was seen handcuffing and arresting himself in an attempt to avoid getting shot to death by Sacramento PD officers. "I just kept seeing all of these black guys getting shot by the police on the news. When the two officers walked by I just threw myself on the ground and began arresting myself" Johnson stated.

Witnesses report that that Johnson was indeed seen punching his own face and shouting racial slurs at himself as soon as the two white officers walked by. "I'm a large, intimidating black man," Johnson said, "I had to convince the cops that I was so worn out that there was no need to shoot me."

According to Sacramento Police Chief Ray Palmer, these bizarre events are happening more frequently throughout the city. There were reports of at least five separate incidents where officers were startled to find 2-3 black men sitting in the back of their squad cars, already handcuffed and beaten to a pulp. Police Chief Palmer has mixed feelings about this new phenomenon.

"On one hand,  I appreciate the fact that these black men are taking the responsibility to arrest and rough themselves up. And it does save us a heck of a lot of money on bullets," the chief said. "On the other hand, it’s probably not completely necessary."

Local black man Robert Johnson, however, thinks that these actions are completely necessary for safety reasons. "Us blacks have to be safe out here," Johnson continued, "I even offered to drop my pants and spread my cheeks so that the officers could see that I wasn't carrying anything on me. They said it wasn't necessary, but I did it anyway just to be safe."

Meanwhile, the hashtag #arrestyoself is trending on Twitter, with thousands of followers supporting Robert Johnson's bold actions.

#satire #butactually

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How will we Overcome the Killing of Mike Brown? Use Cold Anger

How are you going to mentally overcome tragedies like the recent killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri? There seems to be another news update every 10 minutes about the incident, and it’s draining. Ever since Trayvon Martin I have been trying to deal with high profile deaths of people who look like me. Do I protest? Do I meditate? Do I try to forget it for the sake of my own sanity? Most of us have tried it all, and have felt utterly helpless at some point during the way.

I was recently speaking with one of my friends about the incidents surrounding Mike Brown’s death in Ferguson. She too, was upset because she had so much pent up anger and no clue what to do with it besides sharing stories on social media. And I couldn’t give her much satisfying advice. Then I remembered a book I had read in my community organizing class at Occidental called “Cold Anger.” The idea is pretty straight forward; taking one’s red-hot energy, passion, and pain, and dispersing it throughout one’s lifespan in a controlled slow-burning furnace of level-headed efficacy (aka change).  

When a community faces a perceived tragedy or injustice, it is quite natural for that group to unleash its anger and frustration in the form of rallies and protests. Let’s call this energy “hot anger.” It’s loud, it’s confrontational, and it’s often effective. But this type of energy is also low on stamina. Unfortunately you can’t yell and protest forever. People get tired and disillusioned, others have to work or tend to their families. When groups do not solidify specific goals and strategies, things become unorganized and peter out. This is the part where campaigns break down (see Occupy Wall Street).  

 This is when Cold Anger comes into play. This is when communities establish permanent organizations to keep the energy alive. It’s when protests turn into boycotts and lobbying public officials. It’s when communities become politically active and start voting and educating themselves. They take their hot anger; turn the dial down to just the point where they can think straight and strategize for the future, and proceed to fight to change the system. They use instances of injustice and tragedy, like Ferguson, to fuel their efforts when moral gets low. Wash, rinse, and repeat for the rest of your life.

Cold Anger and You.

Chances are you're already doing some of the Cold Anger-related things I have listed. The important thing is to realize how they connect to issues like Ferguson. The behind the scenes stuff that you won't see on TV and social media. Here's what you can do to keep fighting:

Keep talking about these issues (with the other side): especially when you think it might be awkward or people might try to shut you down. Mike Brown will not be the last victim, but we have to fight like he could be. So keep blabbin. Talk (don't yell) with people who support the officer who shot Mike Brown. Authentically try to understand their opinion. You don't even have to bother arguing your side if you feel triggered. Walk away silently (nah you should probably say bye or something). 1 on 1 civil discourse is how we'll win this bad boy.

Voting: Vote. I understand that some people “don’t believe” in voting, but I secretly think they just don’t know where to register (where to register). They say their vote won’t matter anyway, but I’d bet money that if they re-instituted the poll tax (and other voter-suppression laws) those same people would be marching to the polls talking about “My Rights!” America’s low voter turnout means that your vote means even more. Put pressure on these politicians to address police brutality. 

Volunteering: Do you exist on Saturdays and Sundays? Consider volunteering. Research and call different organizations to seek out volunteer opportunities. Or just walk in the door. Be a tutor or a mentor so that you help send kids to college and keep them off the streets, and keep the streets off of them. Remember why you are volunteering. Keep in mind people Mike Brown, Eric Garner, and the countless other unnamed people whose deaths have moved you. (volunteer)

Donate Money: I just read that the officer who killed Mike Brown has received more financial support than Mr. Brown himself. Why? Because of how us “liberals” spend our money. Start off by canceling your Netflix account and giving 8 dollars a month to group of your choice (i.e. nonprofit, political campaign). Oh wait, your shows are too important? Maybe you’re not as serious as you thought about your activism? I’m essentially saying to think about where your money goes, and who it supports. Even if all you can afford is a symbolic $1 donation…Basically put your money where your mouth is. You can do this literally in the next 10 minutes. (Donate to Mike Brown Family) or (justgive.org)

Read up on your history (not just your own): I thought I knew about black history until I actually took a class on it (turns out there’s more to black people than Martin Luther King and slavery). But you don’t need a class to put today’s issues into context. When you learn more, then maybe these black men getting murdered won’t seem so random and unfathomable. In addition to great articles on the Internet, your city probably has a building that looks like this:

Walk inside of this building. Ask the person at the desk what to do next.

Maintain an irrational sense of Hope: It’s quite easy to lose hope in situations like these. After the Trayvon Martin case ended I couldn’t do any schoolwork for a couple of days. And while there definitely should be a period of grieving and remorse (and even loss of hope); the bitter truth is that people who are continuously without hope are useless to a movement. They even bring others down. So don’t take the easy way out. I find the best way to get my hope up is to get other’s hope up first, even if you’re not so sure. Mourn, cry, dialogue, bounce back, we need you.

Enjoy life: Happiness is a form of resistance. I learned this in an impoverished favela in the outskirts of Salvador de Bahia, Brazil. Life is as sad as it is beautiful. Happiness isn't a goal, it's a way to get through the hard times. If you understand this then you'll understand how some people can "decide" to be happy. Keep your sense of humor (or develop one). Do fun things. Hell, reactivate your Netflix account. Be nice to people, especially those who look at you funny. As one of my mentors once told me, "Kill 'em with kindness." Again, happiness is a form of resistance. Don't just be happy to please yourself, be happy to inspire others too.

Cold Anger has its highs and lows but it doesn't fizzle out. It's not flashy. It won't get you many retweets or shares. But it puts purpose in every action you take. Its stamina. After all, justice is a marathon.

As far as my Cold Anger goes, I think I am going to start by being extra nice to every police officer I see. I’ll smile, give pleasant smalltalk, maybe even a silent patriotic nod of acknowledgement as they drive past. I’ll be jovial even if I have to fake it. I’ll do it so that maybe when the next time he's pointing his gun at a black man, the officer will remember my kind attitude. Maybe that “gun” in the black man's pocket will start looking more like an iphone. Or maybe an Android. Or nothing at all. Don't shoot.

Greg

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6 Weeks with no TV/WiFi? My Results

E-diets are among the best types of diets, I am slowly finding out. I recently survived a month and a half without watching television and without a home WiFi connection. Don't worry, everything is back now. But what I thought was going to be an excruciating 6 weeks was actually one of the most productive, introspective, and authentically happy periods of my young adult life. Turns out that there are a whole bunch of non-screen-based activities to occupy your free time. This  is a post from my favorite personal finance blogger, Mr. Money Mustache, who managed his time and money so well he retired at 30 years old. Here is his take on television.

I am in no way against TV or social media. I actually love them; so much that I get addicted to them. When I get addicted to them I tend to prioritize them over things that I love even more ( i.e. sleep, the outdoors, interacting with family, saving money, mental and physical health)

No, I didn't wake up one morning and toss all of my technology out of the window in a primal rage. Nor did I experience some embarrassing social media leak that caused me to go "off the grid." The reason why I spent so long without TV and home WiFi is simply because my house didn't have any. I just finished my summer job in LA where I was staying at a rental house with my cousin. Since the house already no TV or internet, I did not feel like starting up huge long-term subscriptions when I was only going to be there for a month and a half. So call it frugality, call it logic, or call it me being cheap. The fact was that when I got home from work I had very minimal electronic connection to the outside world. Let me tell you how great that was.

Now there were a few exceptions to my e-diet. I still checked Facebook and other actual news sites on my phone a few times per day. And when the world cup was happening (go Brazil?), I watched games in 20 minute chunks in the lunch room at my office. All my other Internet needs (including this blog) I took care of working late after work on my office computer. And while I loved my summer job, it wasn't always the best outlet for many of my personal passions and creativity. Mindless, post-work media consumption surely wasn’t getting the job done.

My E-Diet Results

Here is a list of things I have done since my TV/Wi-Fi diet"

• Made this blog
• Learned to cook (try my spicy Italian sausage, kale, olive oil shell pasta)
• Met my neighbors
• Created a workout routine...and did it.
• Started investing my money
• Read a book (to the end)
• Received two promising job leads (for after I finish my current fellowship)
• Planned a road trip to the Northwest
• Went to a comedy night
• Went bowling and finally got that "curve" in my throw
• Volunteered to be a guest reader at a Freedom School juvenile probation camp
• Made a penpal
• Literally stopped and smelled the roses (they were the ones without scent unfortunately)
• Studied for the GRE
• Sat on my porch with no shirt and drank orange juice
• Vacuumed

These are just some of the first things that come into my head, and while the items on the list vary in productiveness, they all made me very happy. 

But it wasn't all fun and games. My first week was pain, and it felt somethings like this:

I call this the "Twilight Zone Face"

I felt like I was missing out on countless important social interactions on my facebook page (I wasn’t). I felt my brain literally craving to get its daily fix of red dot facebook notifications. I felt insecure and square that I had no idea what a Game of Throne was, and why anybody would bother to play games with such heavy and expensive chairs anyway. I even swiped a page of one of my books with my index finger like it was an ipad. Finally, in an act of disregard for human life, I even took a few unsuccessful guesses at our neighbor’s WiFi passwords; all five of them (sorrynotsorry).

 But something magical happened during my second week. I would come home from work and actually feel relieved to disconnect. I felt that all of my previously marginalized ideas, hobbies and passions finally had a chance to be at the forefront of my attention. I felt less anxious, ate and slept better, had great energy during work, and was generally a happier person to be around. Would you give up social media for this? These are the same activities and feelings that often interrupt us because we “gotta check Instagram right quick.”

By my 5th week things were really rolling. I started actually doing things that before had been on my "wouldn't it be cool if I _____" list. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and began to network with potential employers in my field of interest (real estate and economic development). Each gave me precious career advice and two of them even told me to call them back when my current fellowship ends. While this was great, it was actually the little changes in my life that made things truly better. With more time to sit and think, I found myself better able to take control of my own life, and get less scared and more excited post-graduate life.

Do the 6-Week E-Diet!

So this is the part where I am supposed to challenge people to do exactly as I did, and forsake their precious entertainment and social media sites for a month and a half. But I am not going to do that. Yes, I HIGHLY recommend that you’d push yourself out of your comfort bubble and live a little; talk to new people, experiment with things, get better at something, do stuff that you would do if you were retired. I promise you that (1) it will be extremely difficult at first (2) you will feel much happier and confident at the end.

But again, I am not going to make that challenge to you. I kinda want this secret all to myself.

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Why Feminism Needs Men's Rights Groups

I support the idea of having a men's advocacy group. I even think that feminist movements could benefit from their existence. More on that shortly.

First, there is an interesting article in Time Magazine in which Jessica Roy describes her experience at a "Men's Rights" conference earlier this year in Detroit. You read that correctly, a conference for men's rights. From her report, and to perhaps no one's surprise, she encountered a group of largely misogynist men who seemed to interpret the increased push for women's social and economic equality as an affront men's freedom. Roy describes how:

This isn't the type of atmosphere I had in mind when I sat in my dorm room at Occidental College and thought about how to support my fellow black men on campus. I do not think that hate and misogyny are a requirement for men being able to speak their minds and address their grievances (this also applies to the more recent "I don't need feminism because.." phenomenon).

A couple friends and I revived a group on campus called Harambee (togetherness) to support the academic and social success of the few black men on Occidental's liberal campus. We would meet and talk about whatever was going on in people's lives, and formed a big brother little-brother system to make sure each freshmen had an older mentor. We also went out to dinner as a group, and even formed an intramural basketball team (2014 Tournament Champions!). We also had a joint meeting with Nia Akoma, the black women's group on campus, and had a very productive conversation about campus climate and how to continue to support one another.

This was our idea of a men's group. A far cry from what seems to be the anti-feminist "men-have-it-worse-than-women" rhetoric that has come about with the rise of women's advocacy.

So, as the title of this blog post asks, why do I think the feminist movements can benefit from men's advocacy groups? I'll admit that it's a loaded question. I'd actually argue that these groups can actually benefit each other, the main reason being that we share many of the same interests. When you think about violence against women, you are generally thinking about violence against women, committed by men (blanket statement, but stay with me). Now ask yourself this: what is another large group that are also victims of violence committed by men? You guessed it, also men.

The Los Angeles Homicide Report has a very detailed database of every murder victim in the region in the last 12 months. It includes place, location, age, race, and gender, and more. At the time of this post, a total of 68 women were killed, compared to 469 men. Assuming that over 90% of  these murderers are male, the rate of man-on-man violence is disturbingly high. Add on how many men kill each other in wars across that globe and you've got some serious numbers.

Map of murder in South Los Angeles [LA Homicide Report]

If we just look a murder statistics it would seem that the men are more affected by violence than women. But of course the concept of violence is much more complicated and we cannot just look at these statistics.

This re-framing doesn't take away from the fact that violence against women is a systematic tool that has been used to keep women subjected for thousands of years. It does, however, widen the scope of the topic. The issue is larger than violence against women. It's violence by men in general. And by increasing the scope of the problem, we can include more people to fight against it. Often times the "oppressor" (man in this case) won't act until they realize they have skin in the game.

So instead of the typical scenario that goes like:

Feminist: Denounce violence against women! And by the way you're the problem!

Clueless Man: No I'm not, I never hit a woman, stop attacking me!

We can have scenarios that go more like:

Feminist: Denounce violence against women! Men are also victims so join our cause!

Clueless Man with potential: Oh yeah your right. Where do I sign up?

Yes, maybe its not fair that women should have to do this to get the movement going. But as a man, I can already tell you that it would be a better way of getting these issue through our thick heads.

I believe in men's rights, or more accurately, men's advocacy. In the case of African American men like myself, we have the "rights" on paper, but few avenues by which to advocate for them. In many cases, women do not even have these rights written into law, so what is there to enforce?

So maybe my title of this post shouldn't be "Why Feminism Needs Men's Groups." Perhaps it should be something like "Why Feminism and Men's Groups Need Each Other."

In today's polarized social universe I do not think men feel safe to congregate and talk about issues that they face without being labeled as sexist/misogynist by feminists. And in the rare chances they do congregate, they often are sexist/misogynist. Despite this, I think men and women can turn wedge issues into common issues. But forming men's groups will be tricky in this country. Could you imagine a white men's support group? Maybe that will be my next post.


Greg

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